I finally took my car in to be fixed and ordered a ride home. I assumed I would use the time to catch up on messages and clear a few work threads on my phone. But when the driver, who introduced himself as Bill, picked me up, I put the device away and entered the conversation.
Everything about his car felt cared for, clean and relaxing. We were making good time, yet the conversation felt noticeably unhurried. We started talking about New Year’s resolutions, and Bill shared his new habit:
When he meets his brother for lunch, or takes his wife out on a date, he now leaves his phone in the car. He realized that if he wanted to be fully present, the device could not be within reach. In the past, he would often interrupt himself mid-sentence to grab the phone, perhaps to pull up a photo or a video to show to the person across the table. He began to notice how even that seemingly connecting behavior negatively shifted the energy of relating.
Recently Bill's wife told him it was one of the most fun dates they have had in years. She did not know what had changed because at that point Bill had not yet told her about his new habit, but she felt it. The atmosphere was lighter and more connected. The small shift in attention changed the quality of time.
Gratitude to Bill for his permission to share the story!
The photo this week is of a classic scene in my psyche: my dad driving and my mom beside him. They have been practicing cell-phone free companionship for more than fifty years.