Here is a quick money self-check to help you understand what comes up for you when you ask for more. You can use this in a real raise situation or simply as a general reflection.
As you choose your answers, pick the one that fits you most of the time, go with what first comes up, and practice self-observation without judgement.
The Check In:
1. When I think about asking for more, I feel:
A. Tense or avoidant
B. Somewhat ready, but not fully steady
C. Clear and able to follow through
2. My current compensation reflects my value:
A. Not really
B. Partially
C. Yes, or I am actively addressing the gap
3. When I talk about my contributions:
A. I downplay or rush
B. I explain a lot or soften my message
C. I state them clearly and move on
4. If the answer is not what I want, I tend to:
A. Take it personally or shut down
B. Reflect, but second-guess myself
C. Stay steady and keep the conversation open
5. My relationship with money feels:
A. Scarcity-driven
B. Dependent on others’ responses
C. Grounded and self-directed
What to Notice:
Mostly A:
You may be holding back more than you realize, but you are becoming more aware of where things feel tight or uncomfortable. Small steps count. Each time you speak up, you are strengthening that muscle.
Mostly B
You can see your value and begin to express it. With a bit more steadiness, your words can land more cleanly and confidently. Give yourself permission to keep it simple and direct.
Mostly C
You are showing up in a grounded and self-led way. You are able to ask, listen, and stay present regardless of the response. This is strong positioning. From here, you can continue to expand what you ask for and how fully you receive it.