Dear Agnes,
I’m navigating a big career change and feel completely unmoored. My role was made redundant at a job that felt toxic anyways. I am actively looking for a new position, tapping into my network. I am doing all the things to make sure I land someplace more aligned. But now that I’m in the in-between phase, I feel incredibly anxious about money, my future, and whether I am making the right choices as I talk to people about my situation, submit my resume, show up for interviews… I want to feel grounded and safe, but the unknowns are overwhelming me. How can I create a sense of stability when everything feels uncertain?
Gratefully,
Floating Without a Compass
Dear Floating,
A career transition is an initiation. The old structure has crumbled, and the new one hasn’t fully formed. No wonder you feel unmoored: You are in the In-Between, touching the truth that certainty is a mirage, grappling with the fact that the mind tends to fixate on the unknowns.
Your anxiety about money and the future is fully understandable and it is biological as well as emotional. Did you know that new research shows uncertainty can amplify pain perception, activating the same brain regions associated with physical pain?
In other words, this ambiguity you are facing can feel like a threat, putting your body and mind on high alert. Remember, however, that while your brain may register uncertainty as danger, it doesn’t mean you are actually in harm’s way.
It’s simply your brain and body doing what they were designed to do when faced with the unknown.
Here’s the crucial shift: While uncertainty is inevitable, suffering is not. Stability can certainly be felt in external structures like your paycheck or a job title, or predictable work routines. But it can also be cultivated from within.
Start with structure. Even though you’re not clocking into a job, it may be very calming to create anchors in your day. Perhaps a new morning ritual could be helpful during this liminal time, such as a sequence of coffee or tea, movement, journaling, brisk walk. This can help remind you that you are not stuck, that your energy is very much still in motion.
As you schedule job search tasks, I suggest that you also schedule time for nourishment: a call with a beloved friend, a long shower, something that brings even a flicker of delight. Your body and mind need signals of safety. Give yourself those signals proactively, intentionally.
When panic about the unknown creeps in, notice it. Feel your feet on the floor. Take a conscious breath and place a hand on your heart, offering yourself a helping hand. You can say, internally or out loud, “I am here. I am okay. Right now, I am safe.”
If the weight of the unknown feels too heavy, know that you don’t have to carry it alone. Sometimes, sitting with uncertainty is easier when we have a steady hand to guide us. Seeking support from a trusted friend, a mentor, or a trained facilitator who can hold space for your process is an act of self-leadership.
The next chapter is coming. Your job right now, pun intended, is to stay present enough to step into it when it arrives. The more grounded you are in the here and now, the more available you will be when the right opportunity appears.
In loving support,
Agnes