Shift Out of Tension and Practice Empathy

Here is an effective embodiment + perspective-taking exercise you can use to shift out of tension and practice empathy, for yourself and others.

1. Begin by taking a couple of nice, natural breaths, directing them with your attention into the belly.  (This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, promotes relaxation of the diaphragm, increases oxygenation, releases tension in the muscles of the abdomen, chest, and shoulders…)

2. If you are comfortable, place one hand on the belly to promote this deep breathing and further calm down the nervous system. 

3. Recall a recent interaction or situation where you felt a lack of understanding or empathy from yourself or others. It could be a conversation with a friend, a conflict at work, a challenging moment with a family member, or even a tense exchange with someone in a store or on the street, where you had to course correct.

4. Tune into the physical sensations that arise in your body as you recall this experience. Where in your body is the main ‘charge’? If you don’t feel anything, where does your mind ‘land’ as you remember what happened? Is it in your heart, your throat, your head, your gut, your thighs? It can be off the central line of your body, too, in your shoulders, arms. Notice any sensations of tightness, tingling, a knot, a lump in your throat…

5. See if you can stay with sensations for a little bit longer and experience them without going into ‘story‘. You do not need to name the feelings or label what happened in this practice. Stay with the pure sensations. 

6. Now, this may sound funny, but it works! See if you can internally ‘hug’ from the inside, with your awareness, the area of the body where you feel the sensation. Let’s say it’s in your throat. See if you can ‘show’ up for yourself inside your throat and let the sensations in the throat know: ‘I hear you, and I’m getting the mind to pay attention to you now.’

7. Breathe into the belly again, keeping your awareness on the part of the body where you were experiencing the sensations. This can feel like you are ‘including’ all of yourself, holding yourself with compassion and empathy. 

8. Now, see if you can open up to feelings of compassion and empathy for the other person. No need to go too much into “story”; simply internally acknowledge: “They must have gone through a lot in their life already, like everybody else, including me, and they might be going through something right now.”

9. Perhaps you can take the exercise one step further and visualize kindness, empathy, and understanding flowing between you and the other person. It could be that you are exchanging peaceful words as dialogue in your mind’s eye. Or perhaps you simply feel an open channel of communication between the two of you with no words necessary. However you can visualize this, it’s okay! There is no wrong way to do it!

10. When you feel ready, cease the practice.

11. Take a moment to notice any insights or shifts in your energy.

Note: This exercise is based on Dr. Sue Morter’s “Take It To the Body” practice from her book The Energy Codes (p.130-133).

💫 Remember to engage in self-observation, and observation of others, without judgment!